Venturing Out Into the Real World (or just the rest of baseball):Please, Pujols! Sign With the Marlins!

It's okay. Go ahead and laugh. Everybody knows how ugly these uniforms are. Who thought that  orange with the word Marlins written across it in "the colors of the beach" would look good? Somebody really messed up here.

Now, Cubs fans and all you other Cardinal haters, think of how stinking hilarious it would be to see Albert Pujols in that uniform next year. Here are just four of the few reasons why Pujols going to the Marlins would be absolutly amazing:

It would make the Cardinal fans extremely, extremely, extremely angry. And the hilarious part about it is that they wouldn't admit it. They'd mope around going, "Oh, we don't need Pujols. We don't even want him. I could care less if he went to the Marlins." Yeah, right.

Pujols wouldn't be helping the Cardinals win anymore. And as all smart baseball people know, the less the Cardinals win, the better. And as all smart people that live in the Midwest know, less Cardinal wins means less obnoxious Cardinal fan talk. And that's just great for everybody!

It would help to bring upon the downfall of both the Cardinals and the Marlins, which would be fun to watch. The Cardinals would fail because they don't have Pujols anymore. No matter what their fans say about stupid Yadier Molina and David Freese and Allen Craig (yes, Cardinal fans think for some reason that, "Allen Craig is a beast!" I quote this exactly from a Cardinal fan), they just aren't the same team without Pujols. So they will fail. The Marlins will fail because they signed way to many huge contracts before they have that money at hand, and evantually that's going to catch up with them. Their downfall would be very pleasing to watch since I obviously

 have not yet (and never will) get over the Buster Posey accident.

  

Just think how hilarious it would be to see Albert Pujols in that ugly thing.

                                                                                                                                                         

Anger Management Time: Shopping Affeldt?!?!?

Ken Rosenthal reported earlier today that the Giants are shopping Jeremy Affeldt and Ramon Ramirez. WHY??!?!? Here is the exact quote from MLB Trade Rumors.

 

Giants Trying To Trade Affeldt Or Ramon Ramirez

By Tim Dierkes [November 30 at 9:10am CST]

The Giants have a ton of money tied up in the bullpen right now, writes Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports, so they're trying to move Jeremy Affeldt or Ramon Ramirez.

They just picked up Affeldt's option, and now they are saying they need salary relief? I can understand shopping Ramirez because they have talented right handed relievers(Sergio Romo, Brian Wilson, Santiago Casilla.) But Affeldt is one of only two proven lefties in the bullpen, and he's proven himself extremely valuable. So maybe he's a little pricey, but the Giants are the ones who decided to pick up his option and not renegotiate a cheaper contract. Sometimes I really wonder about Brian Sabean (Subject A- Orlando Cabrera trade. The Indians were getting ready to release him, but Sabean trades away a much needed outfield prospect to get him... But I digress.)

Affeldt is more than just a valuable reliever, though. He's a team leader, and was the Giant's nominee for the Roberto Clemente award for two years in a row. He supports multiple charities, and when asked to, he stepped up after the Bryan Stow beating and addressed the crowd on fan violence. Hopefully the rumor that he is being shopped is just that- a rumor.

Affeldt speaking out against fan violence at the first Giants-Dodgers game after the beating of Bryan Stow

My Giants Christmas List

If I could pick the Giants lineup that I want (realistic lineup, anyway) here's what it would be.

CF- Melky Cabrera

The newest addition to the team

Ideally, Melky would replicate his 2011 numbers and be the catalyst the Giants need at the top of the order. Until Gary Brown gets here, anyway.

2B- Freddy Sanchez

If Freddy can stay healthy and hit consistently, he will be an asset to the team just as he was in 2010 and the beginning of 2011.

3B- Pablo Sandoval

Pablo successfully lost the forty pounds management told him to lose, and with it came a slimmed down Panda with a beefed up bat. His defense also came to play last year, and he was a Gold Glove finalist this season.

C- Buster Posey

There is nothing I am more excited for in the 2012 season than the return of Buster. By the time Opening Day rolls around, it will have been almost 11 months of no Buster for Giants fans. He's the brains and leader on the field, and is the best player on the team. He just needs to do his Buster Posey thing, and all will be well by the bay once more.

LF-Carlos Beltran

Arrival of Beltran- Beltran thinking, "What a sucker this guy is. He gives up his top pitching prospect for me? And gives me his number?!"

After Beltran Has Been Here For a While- Beltran thinking, "What a sucker I am. I came here? They think I'm the best hitter on the team. And I aint' even that good!"

Now I know with the above pictures, I make it sound like I hate Beltran, which I don't. He's just not my favorite, but he is a proven hitter. Notice, though, how I want him in left field. I don't care what he played when he was back with the Mets. He's with the Giants now, and they have a better defensive right fielder than him. So Schierholtz is going in right field, and Beltran can suck it up and play left. If the Giants sign him to maybe a two year deal with an option for a third, that will be a nice addition to what else they have, while not being stuck with him for too long.

1B- Brandon Belt

The poor guy's just too confused.

Brandon Belt was moved up and down from San Francisco to Fresno so many times he doesn't even know what to think. Aubrey Huff was a disaster last year, but was never yanked of his starting job. Brandon Belt proved he had power in plenty of situations, and really, really needs to be given a chance.

RF- Nate Schierholtz

Game saving catch against the Dodgers!!!

Nate Schierholtz has the stellar glove and speed to play right field at AT&T park, and started to hit much better last year. He was a late-inning hero several times, and deserves to get the starting role for the year.

And that leaves none other than....(drumroll)...

SS- Brandon Crawford

If the Giants obtain Beltran, they will already have a much better offense than last year, which means Crawford needs the starting job. His defense is exceptional, and I would consider him one of the best defensive players on the team. His bat is coming around, as he showed in the Arizona Fall League, and he is able to put himself on base. Starting him WILL PAY OFF (can you hear me, Bruce Bochy?)

So, relatives, you keep asking me what I want for Christmas. Well, if you can find a way to make it happen, this is it.

*Congratulations to Brandon Crawford, who was married today!! Sorry I wasn't able to buy you your pizza cutter.